Whilst I cleaned the litter boxes and endured the scent of ammonia and feces – part of a daily ritual my cats gather to watch – I contemplated today’s post and decided it was time to pay homage to the feline members of my family. Although I love them like any other family member, the men who come into (and sometimes quickly exit) my life seem to have some deep-rooted aversion to cats.
It boggles the mind. Of course, I’m surprised that men are repelled by my “single mom” status. My daughter and I are cool chicks; they’d be lucky to have us. But honestly, how can people not like cats? They’re furry. They’re fairly independent. They know when to snuggle and when to leave you the eff alone. And they’re wicked hilarious. Not liking cats is ridiculous. There just isn’t a good explanation. Or if there is, I’ve yet to hear it.
I’ve heard cats are “sneaky” or “evil,” which I totally don’t get. I guess I’ll never understand.
Anywho, below are the female felines who own me. Yes, I am their loyal manservant and will be for the 20 or 30 years they’ll bless me with their presence.
By the by, if you happen to know of a single, cute, honest, funny, optimistic man who loves kids, cats, and horror movies give me a shout. My social life could definitely use some testosterone.
Real Name: Francis
Age: 13 years
Likes: String; Hands dragged across the bed
Dislikes: Most cats; Water bowls
Baby is the newest member of my household but she’s been in our family the longest. My parents gave her to my sister about three years ago and my sister gave her to me in, I think it was, November 2009. She’s gettin’ up there in the years but she has the spunk of a kitten. I often wake up to her rubbing her face against mine in an effort to get first dibs on my attention that day.
Real Name: Isabella
Age: 10 years
Likes: Shoes; Sunbaths
Dislikes: Invasion of her personal space; Hairballs
Fatty used to be known as Izzie but over the years her love of all things edible has landed her in the “fluffy” weight zone. Lucky for her, black is very slimming. My sister snatched her up from my cousin, who was going to dump her somewhere, and promptly delivered her to my home. She’s been in my little family (Elysia and I) the longest and is, without a doubt, my favorite but don’t tell anyone. It took her a couple years to forgive me for allowing “the others” in our home but she’s finally adjusted and regained her attitude.
Rosie (Elysia also calls her McMac Fluff Tail)
Real Name: Rosalina
Age: 3 years (approximate)
Likes: Feathers; High locations; Anything dangerous
Dislikes: Cats in heat; Being held; Salmon
Rosie showed up on my mom’s doorstep in the spring of 2008 so my mom called to see if I wanted her. Obviously, I did. The most laid back cat I’ve ever met in my entire life, she isn’t bothered by any of the cats in her space except when they’re in heat. Then she smacks the crap outta them. For some reason if there’s anything dangerous anywhere in the house she’ll find it and attempt to play with it: tacks, nails, beads, you get the idea. She’s also pigeon-toed and watching her run is super funny but I try to laugh in another room so she doesn’t get a complex.
Real Name: Seraphina
Age: 2 years
Likes: Cardboard; Mice; Getting her head scratched like a dog; Sniffing butts
Dislikes: Strangers; Having her ears cleaned; Dry cat food
Peeny is what happens when you go to the Humane Society on your birthday with the idea that if they have an orange kitten (Elysia wanted an orange kitty) you’re going to adopt her. It just so happens she was the only kitten at the Humane Society that day and she was orange. Coincidence? I think not. But she’s also what happens when you push your luck. I’ve never had a cat like her, ever. She’s psycho. I think being in the cage damaged her somehow. Elysia is more her human than I am; however, Peeny has her sweet moments and she makes me laugh a lot.
Real Name: Esmerelda
Age: 2 years
Likes: Laser lights; Bouncy balls; Plastic lids
Dislikes: Dakota (see below); Touching her belly
Yeah, Squeaker is what happens when you go with your mom to help her pick up a new kitten via Freecycle. She clung to my chest, looked up at me and meowed, and I couldn’t give her back, could I? Probably the runt of the litter, she hates being held like a baby and detests people who rub her belly. She’s very aware of her weight gain, thank you very much. She goes crazy over the laser light and jumps close to four feet in the air in an attempt to catch it.
Real Name: Dakota (Named so because I loved Dakota Skye)
Age: 9 months (approximate)
Likes: Rosie (see above); Playing of any kind
Dislikes: Most people; Loud noises
In September 2009, while on my way to the store a flash of black and white caught my eye. I pulled over to the side of the road, ran across the road to the field, and there she was — tiny (no more than 12 weeks old), severely under weight and scared to death. I promised her a better life and she came home with me. With some food and TLC, she’s a regular little kitten. She loves “the others” and, despite going through puberty and having to deal with being in heat, she plays nonstop.
FYI: All of my cats are rescues as I do not buy animals from pet stores. They’re indoors 24/7 because, well, I think that’s where domestic cats should be. And all of my kitties are spayed except two. My budget is tight right now but as soon as I have the extra $300 I’ll be getting Squeaker and Dakota spayed.
Why do you think so many people dislike cats?