After reading and working through The Millionaire Messenger by Brendon Burchard a lightbulb (or three!) went off. Suddenly I was knee-deep in an idea that will change my life. The idea isn’t a new one, really. I just didn’t believe in myself enough to allow the idea to blossom into its potential. But the books I’ve read and the conversations I’ve had with three experts and two friends woke me up to how silly I was being.

I cannot emphasize enough how crucial CLARITY is to positive change and growth. Only when you get clear – I mean really clear – on exactly what it is you want, can life show you the way. And only with LASER FOCUS are you able to use that clarity to stay on the path to get where it is you truly want to be.

Enough of the rah rah talk :-) The point is, I’m planning big changes for my life and those changes will affect the purpose, content and design of this site. I hope you will enjoy the changes and I look forward to your feedback as I begin rolling them out.

So if you don’t see me on here very often the next few months, don’t worry; I’m not giving up on the dreams or passions I’ve rambled about for years. Exactly the opposite: I’m making those dreams and passions my life’s focus.

And I hope you are doing the same thing :D

P.S. It’s true what “they” say about TV being a HUGE time suck. I cancelled Dish Network in January 2011 and saw an immediate increase in productivity for my business; my attention’s been redirected to reading which, I believe, is directly related to my finding much-needed clarity and focus; and my procrastination has decreased by at least 75% (that’s a big deal for me).

Photo credit: Burt Johnson

So I took advantage of the solar-powered motivation to:

• catch up on three baskets of laundry;
• finish the first draft of a short story;
• outline 15 blog posts;
• troubleshoot the missed schedule problem on my blog – none of the solutions have worked…yet;
• begin the inventory of my personal library that I’ve wanted to do for two years;
• begin a painting project with my daughter – I’m no painter but it’s still fun;
• discuss classic literature with my daughter and order our first set of “complete book with study guide” for such gems as Frankenstein and Great Expectations. She also wants to read Shakespeare and she selected Hamlet and A Midsummer Night’s Dream to get started there. Oh, and she begged for H.G. Wells and Jules Verne so, of course, I caved and ordered a box set and Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, respectively.

Plus, there was time for movies – yay!

• Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010) – Jake Gyllenhaal can do no wrong in my eyes! But I’d put this movie off for a very long time because I just wasn’t expecting much. It was a pleasant surprise to say the least. Great entertainment and, for its genre, did everything it was supposed to.
• The Disappeared (2008) – I found the pace just a tad slow but Harry Treadaway’s performance kept me connected. And while the story’s been done before, I wasn’t bored. Oh, and Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter films) did a fine job; although, it caught me a little off guard to hear him drop the f-bomb. It’s still hard to believe he’s an adult.
• Blackout (2008) – The less you read about this one, the better. It’s a psychological thriller with some splashes of horror that will probably leave you in the middle of the road as far as overall rating. I’ve seen many “people trapped in an elevator” or “people locked in a room” type flicks so I walked away from this one feeling just okay about it. I’m curious if the book on which it’s based, by Gianluca Morozzi, is better.

Overall, a peaceful yet productive weekend. The time sucks I’ve allowed to creep in the last six months are being eliminated. (Turn off your cable or satellite and you’ll see just how much you’re capable of getting done!) And progress is being made on my goal to finish one story before going on to the next. Good times!

Are you feeling the effects of winter?

Do you find you have [more, less, the same] productivity in the winter?

Photo credit: Sergey Soldatov

While there are many possibilities and opportunities to come in 2011, don’t forget to slow down and be present right now. This day has so much to offer as long as you remember to stay in the now and count your blessings.

So to all my family and friends, have a very happy celebration today! Stay warm, stay safe and enjoy those priceless moments with your loved ones, for they are far too short.

Photo credit: Liberty Films
[IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE is my all-time favorite movie, ever!]

My health
I’m not in perfect shape. And I could definitely use a trip to the dentist. But overall, I’m not doing too shabby. Hopefully all the chocolate I’ll eat between now and December 31st won’t have too big an effect. The ability to see, touch, taste, hear and feel won’t be taken for granted. I count my blessings every day I am able to: wake up, breathe, get out of bed on my own, walk to the kitchen, fix my breakfast, eat, shower, listen to music, watch movies and feel my daughter’s hugs. Thank you, universe! (And DNA.)

My daughter
Readers of this blog (and my Facebook and my Twitter) are probably nauseated by the love fest I throw for my kid but she really is the best of me: my biggest contribution to society. The road hasn’t always been smooth, and I’m sure I’ve screwed her up for life in at least two ways; however, I make up for my mistakes with unconditional love. I respect who she is, accept her differences, and look forward to every day I get to watch her grow as an individual. Thank you, Elysia!

My mother
No, we don’t have the best relationship. No, we probably won’t ever resolve our issues. But I am thankful for her nonetheless. She showed me what strength and determination really are. She taught me how to be an independent thinker and leader. She showed me how to be a successful virtual assistant. She taught me to never give up on my dreams. Without her support I definitely would’ve had a much more difficult road to where I am now. Thank you, mom!

There is a lot I treasure in my life – my sister, nature and the arts to name just a few – but for now, for this year, the above are my top three. What are you most thankful for?

Photo credit: Colleen Proppe (Be sure to check out Colleen’s web site and blog as well.)

Why am I posting my response here instead of there?

When my comment surpasses the 100-word mark I feel it’s more polite to share it here rather than bogart so much space on someone else’s page. Perhaps I’m just being weird but, hey, when has that ever stopped me from doing something?

While you read my response keep in mind I didn’t get my first cell phone until 2005 (and only then because my mother guilted me into it) and I just received my first MP3 player in June 2010 as a birthday gift. I limit my use of technology to a need-to-have-to-function basis unless it’s a gift; I’ll play around with the gift for awhile and then either shelve it, donate it to the library or freecycle it. The simple personal life I strive to maintain requires the limited use of stuff I deem as unnecessary luxuries.

Electronic readers and iPads and whatever other incarnations of these in the future, are, I believe, here to stay. But will they completely replace physical books? Technology has proven to be very, very good at providing small changes that are capable of big differences in people’s lives. This, surely, will be one of those things. I do think they will eventually replace physical books – but not for a very long time. There will still be hold-outs like myself. (Excerpt from “The Future of Books.”)

Great post, Eileen! And I agree eReaders are cool, fun and convenient. In June 2010, a relative let me play around with her Kindle, a neat little device that impressed me with its ease of use, storage capacity and lightweight design.

But I won’t buy a Kindle or any of its species.

I spend somewhere between 10-12 hours each day reading a computer screen for my business. Then, add on the time I spend writing my fiction in MS Word, reviewing my daughter’s lessons, researching / mind-mapping, networking, reading blogs, and doing my personal bookkeeping. By the time I’m finished with those recurring items, the thought of reading any electronic device makes me antsy and grumpy — even the microwave’s timer or the digital clock irks me at that point. All I want to do at the end of the day is curl up in bed with a good old-fashioned tangible door to another world that requires only three things to operate: my eyes, my hands and my imagination.

Where technology, electricity and batteries fail, books never let me down.

In addition, one of my favorite things about the morning is waking up to the crowded bookshelf across from the bed that reminds me I’m only a few feet away from the escape I’ll get after the day’s exhausting technology-packed activities. It certainly would not fill me with the same warm fuzzies to see my bookshelf housing only an eReader.

And what about the children?

Are we honestly going to allow real children’s books to become extinct? To become mere “collectibles” our children only hear about? An eReader cannot give parents and kids the same experience – namely bonding outside the world of technology – that beautifully told and illustrated stories like The Tale of Peter Rabbit or Guess How Much I Love You have for years and years. I won’t even mention the Dr. Seuss books. Oh wait, I just did.

Seriously, would you get more nostalgic thinking back on your first childhood reading experience if it was centered around reading an electronic device or reading a hardcover story with colorful illustrations? Kids love to turn pages. They love to trace their fingers over words and shapes and pictures. I don’t know why we’d want to eliminate that experience from their early development especially if we’re trying to nurture new readers into lifelong readers.

I will always have real books and I hope they don’t end up as just “collectibles.” Surely there’s a way to balance this technological advancement with the demand of old-timers like myself and with the needs of those who cannot afford to purchase an eReader and eBooks. Low-income families already have a tough enough time when it comes to reading and having enough books on hand, this will only make that gap even larger. It’s sad enough that libraries are falling by the wayside, please don’t allow books to do the same.

If I’m forced to buy an eReader for lack of the real books I want to read, I’ll be a very unhappy camper, I mean, reader. And should someone attempt “to pry a book out of my cold, dead, hand” they’re gonna end up haunted by one cranky chick for the rest of their life. Just sayin’.

So, chime in: Have you already converted to the dark side; that is, have you joined the eReader revolution?

I’d love to hear some feedback from those on either side of this issue.

Recent events have forced me to contemplate a major source of conflict in relationships: jealousy. It’s crazy the extent to which some people will go to feel in control of the person they love. From my experience, the tighter hold you feel you need on your partner, the less hold you have on the relationship.

And I’ve also learned that jealousy stems from one person’s insecurities, fears, doubts, baggage, etc. and very often has nothing to do with their partner. Yes, partners can be the trigger, but you always have a choice in how you react.

“The more incomplete we feel, the more obsessed we become with owning someone on whom we’ve projected all our missing qualities, hence the more jealous we become.” – Gloria Steinem

Now, don’t get me wrong, I was a jealous chick in my late teens, early twenties. But I outgrew that useless emotion and refuse to shake hands with the fiendish brute ever again. Why?

Jealousy is a complete and total time suck. (Just like worry and guilt.)

It does not make you feel better and it certainly doesn’t solve any problems. Once I figured out how pointless it is to “What if…” all the time, to second-guess my worth in a relationship, I felt tons lighter (emotionally) and free for the first time. There was no longer an overwhelming drive to know everyone my partner talked to, where they went, what they did – I just trusted that things were on the up and up – I respected my partner enough to give him space to breathe, live, have fun without me. For the first time I knew and believed that I was worth being with and, if he was smart enough to see that, then everything would work out.

“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.”

Why waste valuable time wondering, sneaking, trolling, second-guessing when you can simply talk about your concerns with your partner? What? You can’t talk to each other? Then why the hell are you married or committed to that person in the first place? Fundamental compatibility seems to be grossly overlooked in today’s relationships.

“Why do people persist in a dissatisfying relationship, unwilling either to work toward solutions or end it and move on? It’s because they know changing will lead to the unknown, and most people believe that the unknown will be much more painful than what they’re already experiencing.”

The key to a relationship’s success, in my humble opinion, hinges upon:

- Trust

- Communication

- Respect

Without those three attributes as the foundation for your relationship, you’re in for a bumpy ride. And I haven’t even taken into account the fundamental compatibility and emotional baggage you both bring to the table, which will inevitably affect your ability to maintain that foundation. In other words, until you are the best you possible (or are consistently working to become that improved person), and you love who you are, then no partner will ever live up to your standards, they will never be able to enjoy being with you, and you will most certainly push them away with your behavior.

“Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point – that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative – self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it’s a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.” – Jennifer James

Do you get jealous? What triggers it?

(This doesn’t mean only romantic relationships. It could also be work, friends, etc.)

Call me judgy, or even snarky if you must, but when a mother abandons her child(ren) because she wants to “start a new life,” I’m not going to have buckets of positive feedback with which to shower her. Not only did Tiffany abandon her child, she just up and disappeared. No explanation. No “Dear John” letter for her hubby. Just skips town with her new fella and screw everyone and everything else.

Remember: I’m still working on tolerance and compassion.

I mean, why the eff do people get married and have kids if that lifestyle is not what they effin wanted? Why don’t these self-centered people think outside themselves and look at the big picture? Gawsh! (That was in my best-est Napoleon Dynamite voice.) Well wonder no longer – I’ll tell you why: instant gratification. Humans are infected with it.

Examples?

Hmm…where do I start?

• Cell Phones – When did it become top priority to be able to talk to anyone the minute you thought of that thing you wanted to tell them?
• Artificial Insemination – No longer does nature have much say in who can and cannot reproduce. Thousands and thousands of orphaned children don’t get adopted because wanna-be parents must have a DNA match and science has enabled them to do so. If the option to inseminate wasn’t available, I bet a lot more children would get adopted.
• DVRs – We can’t be bothered to give up watching one TV show for another (or sacrifice some other uber important activity like shopping or talking on a cell phone) so we can record them all and watch them instantly when we feel like it.
• Fast Food – Oh good gawd, I could go on and on about this one. McDonald’s would not be the monster that it is without the support of billions of “I want it now!” eaters.

I’m beginning to think they stopped teaching the whole “No man is an island” principle in public school. Or, perhaps, they simply can’t afford to teach poetry in school nowadays? You know, because 95% of their time is spent making sure every kid passes every friggin’ achieve-
ment test by 12th grade. Schools can’t be bothered with teaching skills like critical thinking or raising ethical issues like thinking of others and not just yourself. I guess they expect parents to actually teach their own children moral and ethical values as well as how to think outside the box. Outrageous, I know.

Alrighty…so where have I been?

Well, this post’s headline is 80% the gist of my whereabouts. New clients always mean an interruption to the daily routine and time management plan, and I’ve been in the adjustment / transition stage for almost four weeks now. Hopefully, all the wrinkles will be ironed out and all the major “My last assistant couldn’t do this, can you?” projects will be completed by May 13th. Needless to say, something had to be sacrificed – and I didn’t think my daughter would appreciate no dinner or no face time for nearly two months – which means I had to cut down on blog time and movie watching. But I don’t think I can sacrifice either much longer.

Thankfully, my spring vacation starts on Thursday, April 29th – my daughter’s 11th birthday – and doesn’t end until Monday, May 3rd. That means I’ll have four full days to write and schedule my blog posts for the next two weeks and watch as many movies as I can with the time leftover after playing with my daughter, writing fiction, and cleaning (you don’t want to see our laundry mountain, I mean, baskets right now).

So please hang in there with me! I have three stories to post – two flash, one short – and several other fun posts to share with you all. Until then, please chime in with your opinion on Tiffany Tehan a.k.a. Runaway Mom. I’d love to know what you think.

It boggles the mind. Of course, I’m surprised that men are repelled by my “single mom” status. My daughter and I are cool chicks; they’d be lucky to have us. But honestly, how can people not like cats? They’re furry. They’re fairly independent. They know when to snuggle and when to leave you the eff alone. And they’re wicked hilarious. Not liking cats is ridiculous. It is like not liking chocolate, or games (www.partypoker.com), or holidays. There just isn’t a good explanation. Or if there is, I’ve yet to hear it.

I’ve heard cats are “sneaky” or “evil,” which I totally don’t get. I guess I’ll never understand.

Anywho, below are the female felines who own me. Yes, I am their loyal manservant and will be for the 20 or 30 years they’ll bless me with their presence.

By the by, if you happen to know of a single, cute, honest, funny, optimistic man who loves kids, cats, and horror movies give me a shout. My social life could definitely use some testosterone.

Baby

Real Name: Francis
Age: 13 years
Likes: String; Hands dragged across the bed
Dislikes: Most cats; Water bowls

Baby is the newest member of my household but she’s been in our family the longest. My parents gave her to my sister about three years ago and my sister gave her to me in, I think it was, November 2009. She’s gettin’ up there in the years but she has the spunk of a kitten. I often wake up to her rubbing her face against mine in an effort to get first dibs on my attention that day.

Fatty

Real Name: Isabella
Age: 10 years
Likes: Shoes; Sunbaths
Dislikes: Invasion of her personal space; Hairballs

Fatty used to be known as Izzie but over the years her love of all things edible has landed her in the “fluffy” weight zone. Lucky for her, black is very slimming. My sister snatched her up from my cousin, who was going to dump her somewhere, and promptly delivered her to my home. She’s been in my little family (Elysia and I) the longest and is, without a doubt, my favorite but don’t tell anyone. It took her a couple years to forgive me for allowing “the others” in our home but she’s finally adjusted and regained her attitude.

Rosie (Elysia also calls her McMac Fluff Tail)

Real Name: Rosalina
Age: 3 years (approximate)
Likes: Feathers; High locations; Anything dangerous
Dislikes: Cats in heat; Being held; Salmon

Rosie showed up on my mom’s doorstep in the spring of 2008 so my mom called to see if I wanted her. Obviously, I did. The most laid back cat I’ve ever met in my entire life, she isn’t bothered by any of the cats in her space except when they’re in heat. Then she smacks the crap outta them. For some reason if there’s anything dangerous anywhere in the house she’ll find it and attempt to play with it: tacks, nails, beads, you get the idea. She’s also pigeon-toed and watching her run is super funny but I try to laugh in another room so she doesn’t get a complex.

Peeny

Real Name: Seraphina
Age: 2 years
Likes: Cardboard; Mice; Getting her head scratched like a dog; Sniffing butts
Dislikes: Strangers; Having her ears cleaned; Dry cat food

Peeny is what happens when you go to the Humane Society on your birthday with the idea that if they have an orange kitten (Elysia wanted an orange kitty) you’re going to adopt her. It just so happens she was the only kitten at the Humane Society that day and she was orange. Coincidence? I think not. But she’s also what happens when you push your luck. I’ve never had a cat like her, ever. She’s psycho. I think being in the cage damaged her somehow. Elysia is more her human than I am; however, Peeny has her sweet moments and she makes me laugh a lot.

Squeaker

Real Name: Esmerelda
Age: 2 years
Likes: Laser lights; Bouncy balls; Plastic lids
Dislikes: Dakota (see below); Touching her belly

Yeah, Squeaker is what happens when you go with your mom to help her pick up a new kitten via Freecycle. She clung to my chest, looked up at me and meowed, and I couldn’t give her back, could I? Probably the runt of the litter, she hates being held like a baby and detests people who rub her belly. She’s very aware of her weight gain, thank you very much. She goes crazy over the laser light and jumps close to four feet in the air in an attempt to catch it.

Dakota

Real Name: Dakota (Named so because I loved Dakota Skye)
Age: 9 months (approximate)
Likes: Rosie (see above); Playing of any kind
Dislikes: Most people; Loud noises

In September 2009, while on my way to the store a flash of black and white caught my eye. I pulled over to the side of the road, ran across the road to the field, and there she was — tiny (no more than 12 weeks old), severely under weight and scared to death. I promised her a better life and she came home with me. With some food and TLC, she’s a regular little kitten. She loves “the others” and, despite going through puberty and having to deal with being in heat, she plays nonstop.

FYI: All of my cats are rescues as I do not buy animals from pet stores. They’re indoors 24/7 because, well, I think that’s where domestic cats should be. And all of my kitties are spayed except two. My budget is tight right now but as soon as I have the extra $300 I’ll be getting Squeaker and Dakota spayed.

Why do you think so many people dislike cats?

Pardon me while I go off on a tangent for 300 (or 1,200) words about something that irks me to no end. There’s not one reason in particular why today’s topic burns my biscuits as much as it does; nonetheless, my bum is aflame and I feel compelled to rant; or, if you prefer, to pontificate in the least pompous way possible. It is what it is, I s’pose.

Here are my picks for the top three offenders, in no particular order or level of goat-getting ability:

If you’re formerly known as Mrs. Surname Here, a single Mama Bear you are not.

Yeah, I said it. But read my explanation before you prepare a roast in my honor.

When I decided to browse the WordPress tag “single moms” it was in an effort to connect with women floating along in the same boat as myself. What I discovered was blog after blog by women who are divorced and claiming single mom status. They weren’t simply attesting to their residence in singlemomdom. No, they are “true” single moms; down in the same trenches as every other single mom and facing the same issues.

What?!? I heard myself asking myself.

How are these women “single moms” when they: (a) have an ex-husband to hand the kids off to every other weekend and sometimes throughout the week; (b) have financial and/or emotional support from the other half of their kids’ DNA; and/or (c), have the often overlooked, and severely underrated, advantage of not having to play every major role in their kids’ lives? The majority of the internal struggles I face as a single parent stem from the latter.

If you’re a MOM (mother outside of marriage) and you (a) live with your parents or (b) live with your significant other, you don’t make the cut either.

Please see my reasoning in the above “Mrs. Surname Here” section.

If you have someone living in the home with you, who offers financial and/or emotional support, then you don’t know the enormous pressure single moms are under. Before you go to bed at night and are able to talk about the difficult day you had to another adult who shared in that day’s events, you get to unload some of that pressure and feel some sort of relief before sleepy time.

My fears, doubts, and questions remain stored inside until I am able to address them one by one. That is not a complaint, just a statement of fact: I am the sole caregiver with 100% of the parental responsibilities and rewards.

If you live with a significant other then you get to offer your child the most coveted asset of all: a positive male role model to help fill the void left by the child’s absent father. And single moms, don’t be fooled, no matter how great we are at our “jobs,” the void is canyon-sized and always will be. That’s just a fact of life.

We can do our best to shovel in as much good times, moral support, positive reinforcement, and self-esteem boosters as possible. Alas, in the end, your child will still yearn for a “daddy.” It took me years to accept that and it’s taken me years to figure out how to eliminate the guilt associated with it. But there are coping skills for you and your child, so if you haven’t started, please learn those skills and teach them to your child as soon as you can.

What? You chose to go it alone? Close, but “no soup for you.”

Yes, you are definitely a helluva lot closer to my definition of a single mom than any of these other ladies. I actually have a great deal of respect for women (and men) who decide their desire (and ability) to be a parent outweighs society’s (and a child’s) necessity for a two-parent family unit.

However, if you chose to go the artificial insemination route, I might have a rant brewed just for you. Or if your choice to fly solo leaves you in a situation similar to that of the divorced woman and/or MOM, then please see their respective sections above.

But if you’re one of those special people who gave an orphaned child a loving, supportive, and much-needed home, then kudos to you! Just please don’t post on your blog about how great you are or whine incessantly about how hard single parenting is or how much you deserve this or that. Praise and rewards are bestowed on those who are truly deserving — those who sacrifice without expectations.

How do I define a “true” single mom?

Simple: A mother who provides more than 60% of her child’s – or children’s – financial and emotional support, whose father abandoned her during or directly after pregnancy, and the father is not involved at all – or on very rare occasions (less than once a year) – in her child’s life. And she does all of that while living alone without the in-house support of another adult.

So what’s the big deal? Who cares if someone labels themselves as a single mom?

Fair enough.

With each subsequent blog written by ladies in the above situations, my blood boiled. Not because I think these women don’t deserve the respect, empathy, and compassion normally earned by dropping the phrase “single mom.” But because their blogs had an air of entitlement.

I’m sorry but no one, not even single moms as defined by yours truly, is entitled to automatic respect or outs just because they say five words: “I am a single mom.” And they’re also not immediately deserving of every financial gain there is to be had.

So don’t expect me to respect you or empathize with your hardships or give you my hard-earned money simply because you’re a single mom by your own loose interpretation of the word. I would award all three of those things to any parent who toils daily with minimal complaints, let’s slip an occasional “Life is hard,” but more often rambles on with “Man am I lucky to have this kid!”

Okay, I’m off the soapbox and it’s once again tucked under my bed.

WEB RESOURCES

Single Mothers Online: For Single Moms by Choice or Chance – The official site of the National Organization of Single Mothers.

Single Mom Financial Help – The budgeting tips and blog posts are particularly useful.

Single Mommyhood – An uber blog co-authored by two single moms – maybe not by my definition – with great advice on dating and sex.

SingleMom.com: Resources for Single Moms – This site is jam-packed with information, so if you can wade through the crowded pages, there’s gold in them there hills.

DISCLAIMER: The above rant is not meant to dismiss or diminish the difficulties faced by any woman who deems herself a “single mother.” It is merely my response to the, uh, fluid use of said term. I also acknowledge that not every situation is as black and white as I’ve described.

Yes, I realize this entire debate may be rendered moot after the above disclaimer but it’s my blog and I can rant if I want to, rant if I want to. You would rant to if it happened to you. Sorry, I guess I had Lesley Gore’s song in my head just then. 60s music is cool, no matter what you say.

And, as always, you’re welcome to retort via the wee comment box at the bottom of this page, but remember to play nice* or else I’ll be forced to exert my immense blogly powers and hit the “delete” key on your meanness.

*Play nice is defined as not resorting to name calling, hair pulling, rock throwing, or any other forms of idiocy. Responses written in an intelligent voice with evidence to support your viewpoint are much appreciated.

Just to be fair, sometimes I can barely make it down the stairs. Hell, most days I can barely make it across a flat floor without a near fatal accident. My feet just seem to have a mind of their own at the most inopportune moments. But I always – always – laugh about it.

Near falls are my favorite, especially on slippery surfaces like snow covered sidewalks or parking lots. Time slows down, your heart relocates to the middle of your throat, and adrenaline shoots through your body in preparation for a broken limb or tailbone. Then, when you don’t fall, you’re filled with a mixture of relief and mild embarrassment. Plus, everything you experience during those five seconds shows on your face and in your involuntary attempts to stop the fall, which makes the entire situation hilarious.

I once told an employee she was in trouble after I saw she didn’t even crack a smile when I fell one night on our way out of work. I tried to stop the fall, so I was flailing my arms all about, but I landed smack on my bum anyway. It hurt; my pants were soaked from the snow; and I snorted so hard I couldn’t breathe. Yes, I snort when I laugh. That’s good stuff and she totally missed out on the easy laugh.

So when I saw this headline today, I have to admit, I chuckled. No snorting though.

How much would it suck to be that lady? I hope she’s not sick or anything serious and it was just a case of a rebellious equilibrium. But, for her sake, she better have a good sense of humor or reading that article could throw her into depression. If it was me who fell, and I wasn’t sick, I’d laugh my arse off. Even if I was sick, I’d still have a good giggle about it. Laughter is the best medicine. :-)

P.S. To my clients in New York: If you’re the lady in that article, please don’t fire me.

Do you laugh when someone falls or almost falls? Or do you go all serious and give ‘em the old Aw! Are you okay?